My Outfits Tell Stories Too

To me, most everything has a story behind it. Perhaps following in the footsteps of my father, the unofficial one-man census bureau for Madras, Oregon, I feel the need to trace the history of objects, however inane or trivial they might be. Seriously, you should see my button collection!

Frequently, people will comment on my outfits…common, everyday observations like “Hey, I like your jacket” or “Cute skirt!”, which are probably just acknowledgements rather than conversation starters. I respond with mores breaking tales of where I got the jacket, how much it cost, why I think it’s the best deal ever, which other piece of clothing it goes with in my closet, and how I had to fix this one button which was probably the reason it was on sale in the first place.

Here I will tell those stories visually rather than verbally. Maybe I’ll stop scaring people with my outfit outbursts, maybe I won’t. But I’m curious what tales my outfits will tell in this new format…

Outfit No. 1

Outfit No. 1: baggy levi jeans from Danmark, a brown long sleeve hoodie and brown Dr. Martins

Outfit No 2.

Outfit No 2: hand-me-down holey abercrombie jeans, MP3 Threadless shirt, black hoodie and pumas.

Outfit No 3.

Outfit No. 3: a fuzzy cream turtleneck, patterned high-waisted skirt from my friend Jen/Anthropologie, black tights, black Spiral Camper boots, and a silver bag from my Danish Grandma.

Outfit No. 4

Outfit No. 4: a striped shirt from modcloth.com, a mustard peacoat from the junior's section, REI socks I wish I had more of, fairly tight jeans, my Frye boots and a giant Vestal watch that wins every watch-off it ever encounters.

Outfit No. 5

A real Thursday kind of outfit: my

Outfit No. 6

Outfit No. 6: QXWVWZY scrabble shirt (the worst hand ever), gray wide-leg trousers from anthropologie, cream zip-up from H&M Alborg, monkey socks and requisite converse-like shoes.

Outfit No. 7

Outfit No. 7: Hey Sailor shirt that makes me want to shout AHOY, excessively grommeted belt that allows A LOT of leeway for loosening and tightening, a jean skirt with only $4.99 worth of fabric, leg warmers with snaps, tough J. Angelina boots with straps & buckles, incognito disguise: mustache on a hand on a stick

Outfit No. 8

Outfit No. 8: striped crew shirt and gray wide-leg trousers from Anthropologie, "forget me knot" ring that helps me remember important things, flattened silver Thor's hammer that reminds me of an anchor, my friend Lark and my Danish graduation, and my Jack Purcells that supposedly have siped soles, but I'll believe it when I'm not thrown overboard from a bucking clipper on the high seas.

Outfit No. 9

Outfit No. 9: an overwhelmingly hearty shirt dress that makes people smile, jeans with a faulty button, Dr. Martens, this time with sock liners to prevent chafing, a jean Levi's purse with a horse button my account manager, Heather, gave me.

Outfit No. 10

ailbird and emerald green dress from Anthropologie makes me feel like skipping; knitted shrug and black tights; ballet flats I have in 3 colors; silver hue pendent from my Danish graduation; a cool-factor reducing burrito.

Outfit No. 11

Outfit No. 11: tank over tank combo with questionable graphics; fake Dr. Martens from 1995 shoe outlet mall; 10 lbs ago pants that are too lazy to stay up on their own; pant saving belt

Outfit No. 12

Outfit No. 12: a hoodie with built-in headphones; army green bubble skirt that is probably out of style, but it makes me feel like part of a court so I'll keep it; another hand-me-down shirt from my sister-it's so emo I only wear it under other things; long live my campers boots; vestal watch

Outfit No. 13

Outfit No. 13: Fake-plaid Fox hoodie that has a tiny extra pocket that I keep my pocket ninja in; my first threadless s-shirt. possibly still the coolest. CTRL+Z; my deliciously baggy levi's I bought in DK. I've been told I could fit three hipsters inside these pants. I tend to agree (Hipster #1: 20/20 cool factor)(Hipster #2: Look ma! No gears!)(Hipster #3: of course, converse)

Outfit No. 14

Outfit No. 14: Another modcloth.com shirt with a very pleasing plaid pattern, reminds me of my childhood summers in Grass Valley playing in the hay barn and catching pollywogs in the cow trough; ivory heart necklace from my MorMor in Danmark - she got it while on safari; a plain tank top; Thuper Slim $13.99 almost jeggings, but not; Fossil watch is a super hungry battery hog; Frye books are the perfect mouse grey color but don't squeak that much.

Outfit No. 15

Outfit No. 15: a down vest in June? Depressing. But really, I need to talk about my friend Mark. We've been exchanging a drawstring santa head bag between ourselves for the past few years in a vicious cycle of one-upmanship. Neither of us WANT it, neither of us are willing to let go. It had been awhile since I had last seen Mark when I put my vest on only to find that he had stuffed santa's head into a pocket. The image of Mark gleefully hiding his gift 6 months prior enraged me, and my bellow belied this...MAAAAAAAAARRRRK!!!!! I'll get you one of these days, just you wait.

Outfit No. 16

Outfit No 16: a striped Polo shirt and white cord jacket 3 or 33 seasons past its prime. Also, a pair of 2001 Levi's bought for $7.99 at Ross. Yes, Ross. The back pockets are disproportionately large...the only reason I can think of is that cell phones were a lot bigger back then. Oversized belt loops help sturdy belts hold up technology laden pants. Diagrammatic Evidence: cell phone circa 2010, cell phone circa 2001, and Ralph your average size house rat. Mystery solved.

Outfit No. 17

Outfit No 17: A quiet kind of outfit I imagine a modern day Laura Ingalls Wilder would wear: prairie dress with brown leggings, gray Frye boots and a cream knit shrug.

Outfit No. 18

Outfit No. 18: Threadless "Vikea" how to build a viking ship shirt. I'm only half-viking but once I rode on an authentic viking ship leaving for a Danish bachelor party, complete with a pig in a spit. / I just gave my Campers a polish. Not a hot dog, mind you. / Jean skirt of a decent length. Very hard to find.* / Green cord jacket from my friend Laura. She likes green, so I have a lot of green things. Hand-me-downs are so free. / *PS. I found a melted chocolate dollar in my pocket from Umpqua Bank, which I rediscovered remnants of every time I put my hand in my pocket (about 17 times, if you're curious).

Outfit No. 19

Outfit No. 19: Plaid dress from the junior's section so it's a bit short and somehow I ripped it up the back but the plaid pattern hides my patch job. / $13.99 jeans that I wear under all my shirtdresses. $ well spent.* / Another greenish (teal) hand-me-down from Laura. / FRYE BOOTS. DROOL. / *the pockets are sewn shut. oh well

Outfit No. 20

Today's outfit might as well have a giant Anthropologie sign blinking and flashing like all get out, so here it is: -Today's Outfit- Sponsored by (you know it) ANTHROPOLOGIE & Stuff™ / red buttons + red pants / my socks don't match the outfit but nobody's going to see them, right?

Outfit No. 21

Outfit No. 21: Standard Issue tank top. / $1 Goodwill belt, still going strong. / $9.99 capri pants from AE sales rack. Clothes for preteens are cheaper, usually. / SVEA sweatshirt from my sister; it got shrunk in the wash so I got it! / Jack Purcell's; one for each foot. / I recommend sunglasses since this is the first time my limbs have seen sun since 2009 #pasty #glowing #white.

Outfit No. 22

Outfit No. 22: Um, a shirt my sister bought for me at Forever 21. I'm still in my twenties at least, and more importantly this tank top is great at hiding spare tires. / $4.99 jean skirt. I relive my deals every time I wear them :). / Standard Issue black tights. / Black ballet flats with no arch support. / Vestal watch. / Giant horseshoe necklace.

Outfit No. 23

Outfit No. 23: Standard Issue tank top. / A very airy skirt perfect for acclimating to new summer temperatures. / Flats, sooo comfortable but the logo is worn off so I don't know the name in order to BUY MORE! / Movie tix. / Leg warmers, strictly for warmth, or so I thought...I brought them to the movie theater because the AC is always off the hook, but on the way Jen and I bought baguette sandwiches to smuggle in. My purse wasn't big enough, but guess what fits PERFECTLY into my leg warmers? MY LUNCH!!! (after I ate my sandwich I put them on my legs)

Outfit No. 24

Outfit No. 24: A cute checkered and ruffled black and gray top my sister gave me (as a present, not a hand-me-down!). / A new pair of jeans! 'Boyfriend cut' Levi's. They even remembered to distress one back pocket so it looks like "my boyfriend" carried his wallet there. / White leather bracelet with silver brads. / My new travel purse with 7 pockets. Seven is the exact amount of pockets I was in the market for = organized. / Skinny belt. / Leather flats.

Outfit No. 25

Outfit No. 25: Grey silk dress-so light and airy! / Super flat hair (my sister did it). / Cream Blackstone boots on super sale. The man in the pew in front of me really liked them. / In this outfit I: went to a Catholic wedding in a pretty church, but didn't eat the crackers, fed some cows pears from a tree and let them lick my hand a little, and watched the bride and groom dance to the song Scatman.

Outfit No. 26

Outfit No. 26: Standard Issue tank top. / Reef flip flops, remnants from my California years. / Sale rack skirt from Anthropologie has a nice boat scene with hidden side effects. Namely, I got the song "Sail Away" by Enya stuck in my head...ALL DAY LONG. And now you will, too. Enjoy!!! {Sail Away, Sail Away, Sail Away…Sail Away, Sail Away, Sail Away…Sail Away, Sail Away, Sail Away…} (I think you get the picture)

Outfit No. 27

Outfit No. 27: SUMMER TIME AND THE LIVING IS EASY. Gray shirt. / Cut-off jean shorts from 1997. / Patchwork bikini with factor 45+ sunblock and a floppy hat. / Olukai sandals, the most comfortable sandals ever (and I designed the logo on it). / Summer reading: O. Henry Prize Stories.

Outfit No. 28

Outfit No. 28: How to eat a 5-course meal, comfortably: cream billowy dress with saddle straps. / A horseshoe necklace. / Fry boots. / Pig toes, calf tongue with poached egg, tenderloin with potatoes, a cheese platter, and white mousse dessert.

Outfit No. 29

Outfit No. 29: Modcloth should be giving me a cut for this. Uber comfortable plaid dress from, yep, Modcloth. / I got a haircut today, and wore a scissor necklace from, yep, Modcloth. / The necklace really works!

Outfit No. 30

Outfit No. 30: I wore the exact same outfit two days in a row. / Day #1: encountered 4 people. / Day #2: encountered 289 people (give or take). / Fashion Cost Per Encounter: 49 cents. / ModCloth dress, gray jeggings, red flats.

Outfit No. 31

Outfit No. 31: One black turtleneck. One black tank top. One mascara mustache (black). One bad french accent {Oui, Oui}. One pair black skinny pants. One pair black socks. One pair black shoes. One piece cardboard with toast shape cut out. October 31st, 2010.

Outfit No. 32

Outfit No. 32: Went to a concert by Belle & Sebastian and when Stuart Murdoch sang it made me so happy I wiggled in my seat. / Abercrombie & Fitch knit dress. I think they make the bulk of their cash from selling tank tops and undershirts because the majority of their clothes are too sheer or low cut to wear by itself. / Standard issue tank top underneath dress. / Not sure where I got these tights from. I wonder if I should be worried about this? / YES! added another pair of REI socks to the arsenal. / J. Angelina boots on super sale! Straps and buckles make me feel pretty tough.

Outfit No. 33

Outfit No. 33: Flowy top from Modcloth should have its own Facebook fan page. An older gentleman remarked "Woah, you'll make some many very happy" and then said my top was diaphanous. Nice vocabulary, old man. / Knit sweater bought at Forever 21 when I was still very near the age 21. It had a defect so I got a discount! / Same old skinny jeans from Ross for $13.99. / Will I ever get tired of my Frye boots? No. Never. / di•aph•a•nous - adjective (esp. of fabric) light, delicate, translucent

Outfit No. 34

Outfit No. 34: The most exciting part of today was eating lunch at Clyde Common with Google Beta. / Top from Anthropologie; my friend Laura has the same one. / High waisted "college" skirt from ModCloth. / Reasons I hardly ever wear tights: 1. control top severely inhibits dessert consumption, 2. snag too easily, 3. attached feet make my feet cold (leggings: 0, tights -3). / Dogs of the world socks, worn under tights to keep my feet warm. / My first pair of tall boots, acquired in 2004 from Kenneth Cole. The highest heel I'll ever wear (5'9" guys avoid 5'10" girls, usually).

Outfit No. 35

Outfit No. 35: Standard Issue thermal shirt. / Went to lunch with Olga & Artem in this hat. Pretty sure I'm part of the Russian mafia now. / Black hoodie. / Tried and true bootcut Levi's. One knee is overly worn out from a stint of sorting & filing papers, bended on one knee, because there were so many pieces to organize that I had to spread everything out on the floor. I call it File-a-Palooza 2008. / Long johns go under jeans (brrr, it's cold out). / New Camper sneakers

Outfit No. 36

Outfit No. 36: Mm Hmm, Uh Huh, Mm Hmm - dress from ModCloth that both my studiomate and friends two jack russels liked. Score. / It's true, I like free clothes (thanks Laura). / Watch from my aunt Lotte. Very refined. / Good ol' leggings. / Campers. / Socks (getting into the xmas spirit secretly).

Outfit No. 37

Outfit No. 37: I think it's a knit sweater. / Thermal from Target for $12.99. / Free tan cords. / Fuzzy hat and neck warmer my mom made. My husband says the tendril-y blue yarn reminds him of aliens, so he can't stand when I wear it. However i get comments on this hat from everybody, even bums, so I'm sticking with it! I even let my friend Lloyd use it when his neck got cold. / Gray sneakers with buckles.

Outfit No. 38

Outfit No. 38: This is what happens when working on my sketchbook project...Purple thermal and two bobby pins. / Loooong tank top. / A fuzzy blanket for lower body warmth, and checkered baby blanket for upper body warmth. / Long johns from my sister; VERY ill fitting, but warm. / Scrubs from an ex-boyfriend's mom. / Bath sandals from 1994...worn with...SOCKS! / Monkey socks. / Requisite sketching booking supplies: super 77 spraymount, UHU gluestick, exacto, micron pens.

Outfit No. 39

Outfit No. 39: 75% Danish (25% more Danish than the body it's on). Dig1 t-shirt my friend Shellie gave me; it was free so it's kind of Danish by default. / A hoodie I bought from my cousin Mille for 30 kroner (kroner are pretty cool). / Gray leather high-tops have a secret side zipper which makes then ideal airplane travel shoes. / Cuffed twisty-legged drop-crotched G-STAR jeans bought in Arhus, DK.

Outfit No. 40

Outfit No. 40: Plain white T - $6.99. / Blue fleece hoodie...10 years old but still fleecy enough to attract lots of dog hair (guess which hand held THE FURMINATOR). / My belt matches my socks. How often can you say that? / Cuffed gray skinny jeans, to show off socks. Why? I don't know as I never left the house (notice no shoes). / Yep. Toe socks. Striped toe socks. / Brushed my dog Lucy with the amazing dog brush...THE FURMINATOR. About 5 million hairs from her tail alone!

Outfit No. 41

Outfit No. 41: PLAIN JANE. Black cashmere sweater from the GAP; hand-me-down from my sister. Pretty darn plain. / Jeans. Plain. / Plain black belt. / Gray fleece scarf. For my neck. Plain. / I guess my socks are the most exciting part.../ Plain black Camper sneakers.

Outfit No. 42

Outfit No. 42: Puffy vest from the junior's section with a green & white chevron (has a faux fur fringe). / Ax - I held it with my mouth so there is a slight residue of saliva on it. / Army green volcom shirt; a hand-me-down from my sister (that explains the 3 stitched holes). / FREE Levi's Demi Curve jeans. A friend gave them to me in return for some "research". / Dr. Martens!

Outfit No. 43

Outfit No. 43: I can finally wear this shirt I got in 2001 because normal-rise jeans are back on the market! Long shirt underneath for warmth and added midriff protection. / Shiny black uber-grommetted belt from the same era as my revitalized t-shirt; ensuring extra additional midriff protection. / Army green felt/wool jacket from H&M. / NORMAL-rise gray skinny jeans. / Took my campers for a nice lunchtime walk that was enjoyed by all. / I went to a lecture where the audience did an activity where everyone writes down something they are thinking about on cards, the cards are shuffled and redistributed, and people take turns reading the anonymous card they're holding. I read "This soup is meh...". Nobody read my card (which read "compromise (?)"). I guess that's appropriate.

Outfit No. 44

Outfit No. 44: Chambray shirt-dress from H&M with forest green knitted tights...with attached feet. / Sock liners for superior wicking. / I could walk all day in my Campers...and I DO! / I went to a design social called dMob put on by AIGA with my friend Mel. A drunk man stumbled into her and she spilled red wine all over my new dress and her white shirt. But the barkeep told us to splash white wine over the stains and it would counteract it...and it worked! So in the end everything was AOK. (I also washed the dress with hydrogen peroxide and detergent, which sealed the deal: my dress lives another day!)

Outfit No. 45

Outfit No. 45: A DAY AT THE RACES. A plain white T with gray skinny jeans and red suspenders. / I borrowed the suspenders from my friend Aaron, and boy did they do their job! He told me that men walk taller when wearing suspenders, and now I understand why. / Race day hat (black) with matching yellow band. / Race day checkered socks. / Black leather racing flats. / I named my Derby Car DANISH DYNAMITE because it was red and white. My pioneer rabbit wore a jaunty yellow racing scarf...and even had a headshot to hand out. He's so vain.

Outfit No. 46

Outfit No. 46: "L" is for lederhosen, which I did not wear, but was definitely the most interesting outfit at the party I attended. I did dance with the lederhosen-wearer, which is enough for his outfit to trump mine. / A felt hat with appropriately rustic woven twine band. / Red & white checkered shirt. / Leather knee-length lederhosen. / Some tall woolen socks. / Brown suede shoes.

Outfit No. 47

Outfit No. 47: Blue and white striped sailor shirt from H&M Århus. AHOY! / Gray skinny jeans. / White leather sailing flats. / Watch I inherited from my American Grandma. Now I have a VERY distinct tan line of this, even including the knob. / My aunt gave me this really cute owl pendant. / Do you know where it is very difficult to play a game of pick-up-sticks? ON A BOAT!

Outfit No. 48

Outfit No. 48: Q: How many times will people ask "Are those horses on your tights?" A: A LOT / Drapey black babydoll dress with pockets. / Gray tights with horses (yes, horses!). / Giant Vestal watch. / Giant horseshoe necklace. / Black shrug. / I

Outfit No. 49

Outfit No. 49: A bright yellow knee-lenght dress from ModCloth. The fabric is very crepe-paper-like. / Gray tights with peacock feathers printed on the calf in orange, red, turquoise and yellow. / Leather flats. / Every time I wear this somebody says WOW.

Outfit No. 50

Outfit No. 50: Super simple, nothing special. Well, I guess it is outfit drawing No. 50! / Super soft & fitted mustard yellow tank from Magasin Århus. / High-waisted pinstriped skirt from Denmark. The tag is sewn on the outside, so it must be fancy (tag reads: Mads Nørgaard, Copenhagen). / Giant horseshoe necklace. / White flats.

Outfit No. 51

Outfit No. 51: Much like the Yeti, one element of my outfit drawings has been absent for the past 50 illustrations. The under pinnings of my garment layers are now on display to let you rest assured: THEY EXIST! Stripes, hearts, and butterflies, nothing too exciting but as my mother once told me, you can always wear two pair if you are really cold.

Outfit No. 52

Outfit No. 52: Went to see Roller Derby in DGI Byen. Multnomah 1893 shirt - almost tough enough to wear to a Roller Derby event. / Twirly short jean skirt my friend Jen gave me. / Tights. / Messy pigtails. / Nobody could see them but I wore my racer socks. / I forgot to draw my shoes.

Outfit No. 53

Outfit No. 53: How to Partake and Survive a Danish Easter Feast. / Gray flannel-like "eat a lot" dress from mod cloth.com with at least seven inches of stretch. / Tank top to smooth out effects of burgeoning belly. / Good thing I didn't wear a belt. / Regular jeans after 3 wears gain 1 pant size = Lucky Me! / I wish to God these were compression socks to pump extra blood to my stomach region, but alas, they are not. / BREAKFAST, two bowls strawberry yogurt with muesli, LUNCH/BRUNCH, 2 white bread rolls with cheese, 1 white bread roll with jam, 1 liverpaste + ryebread sandwich, 2 makeral + ryebread sandwhiches, 1 pickled herring + ryebread sandwhich, 2 hardboiled eggs, 1 normal portion scrambled eggs with salt and pepper, 1 strip bacon, 2 pieces wienerbrød (flat sweet pastry), 1 cup tea, 2 shots carrot juice, SNACK, 1 white bread roll with brie, 1 cup hot chocolate, 2 cups tea, 3 pieces wienerbrød (flat sweet pastry), about 17 sour cream and onion potato chips, DINNER, salad, corn and peas, 1 chicken breast, 1 pork cutlet with bacon wrapped around it, 3 pieces garlic bread, 1 hotdog with ketchup, 7 potato fritters, DESSERT, one giant soft serve ice cream cone in a waffle with chocolate shell, one piece tiramisu, 2 cups tea, 3 chili almonds.

Outfit No. 54

Outfit No. 54: A black and cream dress I bought in Barcelona. The dressing room was really dark so I didn't notice exactly how see through it was. HENCE -> a black tank top underneath. / Shrug: layering required due to schizophrenic weather. / Ivory heart necklace. / Watch for telling time. / Black tights go with everything. / Black leather purse from my sister & tickets to Frederiksborg Slot (I'm considering putting an offer down on it, lowball of course) - both birthday presents. / My new Camper sandals that I

Outfit No. 55

Outfit No. 54: A Modern Fishing Trip - ate sushi on a sailboat (that's how I roll). / Preppy cardigan over a matching navy preppy tank top hand-me-down from my sister cirka 1994, good condition. / Plaid on plaid on plaid high-waisted preppy boat skirt. / Classic white boat flats.

Outfit No. 56

Outfit No. 56: Engaged in "Five-Star Relax Time". / Impulse buy teal hoodie from H&M has a unibomber hood, good for looking intimidating. / My friend Arlie's sunglasses only add to my uni-bomb look. / Free scarf from a clothing swap. / Free shirt from Johnny Cupcakes says "Make Cupcakes Not War". / Knee high socks for semi-cold days. / Gray slim fit jeans. / Second hand store belt for $1. / New Camper high-tops in cream leather with yellow soles.

Outfit No. 57

Outfit No. 57: Cobalt blue Volcom shirt dress is almost like wearing pajamas during the way (so comfy). / Long-sleeve white undershirt. / black tights, a cold weather staple. / Fuzzy gray over-the-knee socks make me feel like skipping. / CAMPERS

Outfit No. 58

Outfit No. 58: Definitely constitutes 5-STAR relax time. / Army green tank top. VERY COMFY. / Black sweatpants. TOTALLY UNTIED. / WARM FUZZY temperature control. / FUN rainbow socks can be worn high or low, depending on mood. / Technology #1, technology #2, and technology #3.

Outfit No. 59

Outfit No. 59: Maroon knit sweater dress from H&M, fits just about everything. Lots of æbleskiver + lingonberry. Standard issue black tights follow Danish fashion norms. Matching maroon knit pattern socks that are very unstretchy after a mysterious trip in the washing machine. A very European dotted black & white scarf, for use indoors or out. No shoes, must have stayed inside all day.

Outfit No. 60

Outfit No. 60: "Spring is in the Air" - White peasant top (very airy) from H&M. / Extra extra roomy gray skinny jeans from H&M. / Intricately woven infinity scarf was an X-mas present from my gay brothers-in-law and can only be described as 'chaotic hippie chic'. From H&M. / REI socks still going strong. Outback boots by Frye.

Outfit No. 61

Outfit No. 61: Super soft, long chambray cowboy shirt, only two buttons in use. / Long black tank. / Black tights…only…* / Knitted slipper socks in black & white from Føtex. / Silver chain necklace, very refined…makes up for only wearing tights? / *Ate a lot of cake.

Outfit No. 62

OutfitNo62

Outfit No. 63

OutfitNo63

Outfit No. 64

Outfit No. 64: OUTFIT EFFICIENCY "The 60 Second Solution" - Scarf A: fuzzy white & blue, Scarf B: hippy plum + woven accents; ALWAYS: puffy black vest; ROTATING: various colored thermals from Target; EITHER/OR: bootcut or skinny jeans; SOCKS; ZIP FOR SPEED: grey leather ASK brand sneakers look buckled but really zip up.

Outfit No. 65

Outfit No. 65 - It's Simple, It's Summer: Very lightweight paisley yoked top from anthropology. / DYI cut off shorts that used to be pants. / Best flip flops ever, going on 10 years (totally have tan lines).